


technically, it's not a crime scene

by Uriellyodd



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Pierce the Veil, Twenty One Pilots, waterparks - Fandom
Genre: M/M, josh has a hero complex, they're gonna fall in love soon dw, tyler is just a lil shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 08:16:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21317029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uriellyodd/pseuds/Uriellyodd
Summary: Josh Dun is the new detective in Dema, a quiet, cutesy and peaceful town. He's convinced that it's hiding some sort of evil secret- towns like this usually are.
Relationships: Andy Hurley/Joe Trohman, Awsten Knight/Geoff Wigington, Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross, Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Jenna Black/Debby Ryan, Jon Walker/Spencer Smith, Kellin Quinn/Vic Fuentes, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Tony Perry/Jaime Preciado, Tyler Joseph/Josh Dun
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> first fic in like two years woo   
just felt nostalgic so here i am :)))

Detective Josh Dun looked out the window of his office and gazed at the town with a watchful eye. He took a sense of pride knowing that this town was his to protect, to keep safe, to ensure the happiness of its citizens. It was gorgeous and idyllic, the houses a happy pastel yellow or white plywood with vines and roses climbing over the latticed gates, a park in pastel greens, pinks and blues with a swing set and a playground, a duck pond, bakeries and cafés- it really was a beautiful town.   
Josh was convinced there was something shady going on. He was pretty new to his job, having just passed the detective exam and was sent to Dema after the old detective who worked there retired. But he knew towns like this were always hiding something- a prostitution ring, a drug circle, maybe even a cult of some sort. With a town like this? There was absolutely no way it was as innocent as it seemed.   
He watched as two figures strolled from one side of the street to another, and recognized one figure as Phil Lester, one of the more prominent members of the town. He had met Phil on his first day on the job and the two had hit it off immediately. He tapped on the window and waited for Phil to look up. When Phil saw him, his face broke out into a smile and he waved excitedly, tapping the man walking with him to get him to wave as well. The man he was with turned and laughed and waved at Josh, eyes crinkling from the smile, curly brown hair turning honey in the afternoon sunlight. Both were dressed snugly, for it was October and a mild chill was zipping through the air, reminding everyone that it was fall.   
Josh rolled up his window and called, "Phil! How are you?"  
"I'm doing great!" he responded in his smooth british accent. "Josh, have you met my husband Dan?"   
"No, but you've told me quite a bit about him," Josh responded, grinning when he saw Dan blush. "It's nice to meet you, Dan."   
Dan shook his curls out of his face and called back, "It's nice to meet you too!"  
\------------  
"Who's that?" asked Dan as he and Phil headed back home.   
"Josh Dun, twenty-something years old. Recently moved from Ohio. He's the new Detective around here." Phil took Dans hand in his as they walked and intertwined their fingers together. "He's convinced that something shady is happening here in Dema. He's very excited about his new job."   
Dan snorts. "He'll be extremely disappointed. We're all about as cliché and boring as they get."   
Phil looked at the trees thoughtfully, gazing at the colorful leaves. "Maybe we could change that."  
Dan frowned. "What do you mean, Phil? We're not going to commit some sort of crime, are we?"  
"Of course not," laughed Phil, shooting a grin at his husband. "I'll hold a small town meeting. Maybe we can give our new detective something to investigate."


	2. Town Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So why do I have to be the one pretending to be dead?"  
"It's written on the spreadsheet, you moron!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys enjoy :)

"So what's this meeting for?"  
Phil looked up from his notepad when he heard the rich velvet voice to see his friend Brendon Urie enter his living room to join the other people milling about and conversing while drinking punch. He smiled mysteriously and adjusted his glasses. "You'll see. But I'm sure you'll like it."  
Brendon raised an eyebrow and turned to the snack table, making a beeline for Ryan Ross, the owner of the town's café, Pretty. Odd.  
Ryan Ross was a pretty odd guy himself, dressing mostly in thrifted clothes that were a blend of Victorian, Steampunk, grunge and 80's. Even though the clothes were hard to get used to, he didn't dress - badly - , just differently. In fact, after getting used to it, most people really enjoyed his sense of style. He spoke with a barely noticeable lisp out of lips poutier than most guys had, and his eyes and hair were the same shade of coffee brown. His face was quite feminine, and when one had the pleasure of hearing him sing, they noted that his voice was on the more androgynous side. He was extremely attractive, but in an unconventional way.  
It was no wonder that Brendon had such an obvious crush on him- Brendon loved music, and after hearing Ryan sing for the first time when he first moved into Dema he was immediately intrigued and made a point of hanging out with Ryan as much as possible. They were good friends- best friends, even, but it was clear that they both wanted more. Ryan wouldn't make a move because he was too shy, and Brendon wouldn't make one because he honestly didn't think Ryan saw him that way. He did, however, gush about Ryan to all of his friends when Ryan wasn't around. It was cute, but everyone wanted to see them finally get together.  
\---  
Tyler Joseph had just moved into Dema and he was loving it. He made fast friends with nearly all of his new neighbors despite his crippling fear of social interaction, had staked out the local café and found nearly every item on the menu delicious (the only thing he didn't like on the menu was the cucumber soda- he found it wasn't sweet enough and did taste a bit like a body lotion), made friends with both Ryan Ross and the guy that always seemed to hang around Ryan and loved the music center run by Pete Wentz. This place was basically paradise.  
He woke up that morning and walked down to Pretty.Odd, eager for a cup of coffee and maybe a pastry. The little bell jingled as he walked in and he immediately felt a smile lift the corners of his mouth as the smell of coffee and fresh baked croissants fill his nose. He always marveled at the decoration- there were vinyls painted with various flower types hung on the wall and labeled as if they were in a seed catalog, the dark wood of the booths and the tables offsetting the bright flowers growing in the windowsills, wide glass windows casting thin shadows as sunlight streamed in and bathed the café in a gorgeous buttery warmth, complete with light jazz notes floating through the air, flirting with the scents of tea, cream, pastries and vanilla.  
Yup, this was paradise all right.  
He got to the counter and bade Ryan and Brendon a good morning (for some reason Brendon was always there when Ryan was- didn't he have a job?) and asked for a cup of coffee, cream and sugar on the side please, and an almond croissant with - oh I can choose what kind of jam I want? Raspberry would be great!  
As Ryan set his order down in front of him, he asked, "are you coming to the town meeting today?"  
Tyler looked up at him, distracted by the smell of his coffee steaming up into his face and scent of raspberries floating through the air. "Hm? Oh no, I wasn't invited. I think."  
Ryan raised an eyebrow- today he had swirl patterns around his left eye drawn in eyeliner and it was quite disconcerting. "You live in the town, don't you? You probably just didn't check your mailbox yet. You've definitely been invited."  
Tyler stirred a small amount of cream - real cream! Not half and half, it tasted amazing- into his coffee and blew at the curls of steam rising from the cup. "I guess I'll come, then. Where and when is it?" He added a spoon of sugar into his coffee and stirred it in.  
"Phil Lester's house at 1:15 pm. He lives right next to the library. His husband runs it, you know?"  
Tyler nodded. "Dan Howell is his husband? I didn't know that." He took a sip of the hot coffee and nearly moaned on the spot- Ryan definitely knew how to make amazing French Roast. "I know I've said it every time now, but this coffee is unbelievably amazing."  
Ryan just smirked and headed back to the counter. "See you at the meeting, Joseph."  
\------  
At 1:00 pm, Tyler was freaking out. Ryan had not mentioned if this town meeting was a casual, semi-formal or formal event. He ended up settling on a floral button-down tucked into a pair of nice jeans that he cuffed at he ankle. He looked into the mirror and noticed that he was definitely projecting his bisexuality- which probably wasn't a problem, considering the most prominent figure in the town had a husband and both the café and music shop owners regularly wore eyeliner. He took a deep breath and started walking towards the pastel yellow house with the white porch and climbing roses that he knew was next to the library. When he arrived, the door was already open and he could see townspeople milling about inside, holding cups of punch and making conversation. He walked inside and poured himself a cup of punch and walked around for a bit, saying hello to the people he knew.  
After five or so minutes, a deep voice with a british accent called out, "If you could all come into the living room, please?"  
The group filed into the living room, and Tyler noted the family portraits- Phil and Dan had two daughters?-, houseplants and what most people thought of as 'nerdy stuff' decorating the walls and nearly every flat surface. He smiled when he saw the Mario Cart and Crash Bandicoot posters on the staircase.  
Phill clapped his hands for the groups attention and smiled when they quieted down.  
"So as you all know, we have recently got a new Detective, Josh Dun, here in Dema."  
A murmur went up as heads started turning, presumably looking for the detective.  
"He's not present right now, and I'd like to discuss an idea I have with you.  
He believes that Dema is too idyllic and too good to be true- I spoke to him when he first moved here and he believes there may be a prostitution ring, a drug circle or maybe even a cult of some sort happening."  
At this, the entire room burst into laughter.  
"Now, of course he's wrong- but he's looking for a problem so bad, why don't we give him one? I don't mean to start a drug trade or anything, I mean we could put together a play of sorts, and put on a fake crime for him to solve! Because let's face it, as a detective in this town he won't have much to do. This would be quite fun for us to do, as well."  
A young man with bright blue eyes and wavy, shoulder length black hair stood up. "Kellin Quinn, owner of Siren Ceramics"- Tyler was thrown off by his very feminine voice and the fact that this was the owner of the pottery store two streets down from his house, he couldn't have been more than 19 years old?? -"this sounds really fun but we all have jobs. How would we work around that?"  
Phil answered, "Days will be pretty much the same, but with a little acting on the side, and you might have some specific lines to say to Josh. Otherwise life will be as usual."  
Kellin nodded and as he sat down, a gorgeous woman with stunningly pretty auburn hair stood. "Debby Ryan, manager of the Pincushion. What kind of crime do you have in mind?"  
Phil smiled rather gleefully. "A murder mystery, of course."  
Everyone in the room started talking excitedly amongst themselves, and Phil raised a hand to quiet them. "I already have a villain in mind, but who wants to play the victim? It needs to either be someone who's job can be conducted at night or does not have a busy job, one where their boss would let them take two weeks off."  
A young man with neon green hair so bright it almost blinded Tyler stood up. "Awsten Knight. I'm a freelance graphic designer so I can pretend to be dead, as long as I can draw at night."  
Phil clapped his hands. "Oh, that's perfect! Ok Awsten, you're gonna be the victim!"  
"Sick," said Awsten as he sat.  
Across the room, an unbelievably muscular guy stood up and crossed his arms, and Tyler would have been afraid had the man not been wearing the friendliest smile on his face. "Jaime Preciado, personal trainer. Who's the villain?"  
Phil grinned. "Why, it's Tyler Joseph, of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave feedback pls i haven't written in like a year

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed that ! will probably be updating quite a bit


End file.
